Today Autism Won

Today autism won.

Today mama lost, big time.

Today I cried for the woman I’ll never be.

Today I cried for the son I’ll never have.

Today I thanked God for blessing me with this miraculous life.

Today I cursed God for the never ending struggle of this difficult life.

Today I ate and drank too little.

Today I googled too much.

Today he had too much screentime.

Today he had too little therapy.

Today I cried too often.

Today I prayed too little.

Today I felt entirely alone.

Today I felt the eyes of the world judging me.

Today I lost hope.

Today I found hope.

Today I knew I couldn’t go on like this.

Today I knew I could never give up.

Today I cried for what you couldn’t do.

Today I cried for all the amazing things you can do.

Today the road ahead looked impossible to navigate.

Today I hoped for a brighter tomorrow.

Today the weight of special needs parenting knocked me down.

Today I got back up and fought again.

Today Autism won.

But that’s ok.

The rematch is tomorrow.